Randomness on a Tuesday

I proctored exams for my kids today, and I thought it would be fun to write down the thoughts that crossed my mind while doing so. As you can see, my eloquence wandered along with my attention.

It's the isolation that invades my mind. Like an insidious inky substance, the darkness spreads over the light. At midnight and again at 3, I lie awake. Empty. Lonely. The sheets are chilled; the body heat of one can only spread so far.

-------------

I went a bit crazy, I think, when we parted. Undercurrents of anxiety, ripples of confusion, the incessant seeking of a truth I still don't see- a truth I can only feel. I feel it in the same way a victim senses danger before a crime occurs. I reached out, sometimes blindly - sometimes not. Always hoping, needing, wanting to be heard. to be seen.

-------------

I've written of synchronicity. Does it only manifest as a mirage? Or can it withstand the tearing of daily being? Can a coupling that holds the comfort of home sustain itself despite reality's dissonance?

-------------

My child. She who is mine yet not mine because no child of the Universe ever belongs to another. My love - the purest embodiment of love I know. She is energy and wicked sharp and good and soft and all heart. That she has a life now of which I'm only half aware leaves me aimless. Her images, her world seem too young to belong solely to her. Like a phantom limb, I sense her everyday. Every minute.

-------------

Red cowboy boots should be required footwear with school uniforms.

------------

Brain sex: better than physical sex?